Achele, Love off screen
by Ribbons Tied Into Bows
Summary: Lea and Dianna can both tell you, living with the girl you love is never easy. especially when whole world finds out about it.
1. Chapter 1

Lea turns to see Dianna leaving the bar, she runs after her leaving the rest of the cast behind.

'Wait up! Di! Wait!'

Lea catches up to Dianna slightly out of breath.

'Why are you leaving?'

'Im just tired. Go back and have fun, i'm just going to catch a cab. ill see you when you get home ok?'

'Are you sure? We may as well both go home. Saves catching separate cabs to the same place.' Lea looks at Dianna searching for whats bothering her but she just cant put her finger on it.

'seriously Lea go enjoy yourself i just have to go home and think about some things ok?' there was a sharpness to her tone. Dianna never got snappy with Lea, it was one of the things Lea loved most about Dianna she was unwaveringly kind, such a great friend, not to mention breathtakingly beautiful.

She would never admit it, but Lea always had a bit of a crush on Dianna, she knew the feelings would never be returned but it was always a secret fantasy of hers.

'ok well i guess ill just see you when i get home, call if you need me.

Dianna stuck her hand out to hail a cab within seconds there was a cab waiting for her.

'Say sorry to everyone for me leaving so early ok?'

'No problem Di.'

Then she was gone.

Lea went back inside met with a bunch of confused faces.

'What was all that about?' asked Amber

'Nothing she was just tired.'

'Well she did have a big day big birthing scene' replies Amber simply

'Ha i forgot to ask you Amber'

'Yes chris?'

'What was it like being in the room for a fake delivery'

'Omg it was so intense' replies Amber sarcastically

'Another round everyone?' Lea yells

Everyone cheers

'Ill take that as a yes!' Lea turns on her heal and walks towards the bar to get a drink. Her thoughts still on Dianna.

Six rounds later and they were all ready to hail a cab it was early in the morning by the time they all left, Lea couldnt wait to get home to see Dianna.

She fumbles with the keys at door. Everything is spinning, she brings the keys close to her eyes and tries to focus in on them, she brings them so close to her face that one of the keys brushes the tip of her nose.

In the end she gives up and just knocks on the door.

she rests her head against the door, and starts sing softly.

'Doodly doodly dooo hmmm hmm Diaaaaana Agronn'

She hears the door knob click, she had her entire weight resting on the door when Dianna opened it, she falls in landing on Dianna

'Whoa! Lea'

'Dianna! hellloo Miss Agron!'

'Lea how much have you had to drink?'

'I lost count...'

'Ok lets get you to bed'

'Miss Agron! i never thought you a lady who takes advantage of a girl under the influence. You should atleast take me out on a date first!'

'I wish..' mumbles Dianna under her breath

'Wha?' asks Lea not catching it, which Dianna thanks god for.

'Nothing... come on take your shoes off'

Lea sits at the end of the bed watching Dianna take her shoes off, Dianna looks up at Lea, their eyes meet and Dianna could swear the brunette had want in her eyes.

But she brushed it off.

'Do you wanna put on your pjs or are you good?'

'ill get into them only if you change me...' says Lea as seductively as a drunk girl can be.

'Um ok if thats what you want.'

Dianna walks over to Leas closet and pulls out her pink flanalettes with black music notes on them. She turns around to catch Lea trying to get her black dress off her head Dianna is momontarily stunned by Leas body, she was perfectly toned and beautifully tanned wearing a black lace bra, Dianna stood there for what felt like a second but could have been longer she wasnt sure, she snapped out of it and walked over to help,pulling the dress off Leas head with ease she throws the dress on the floor Lea lays back on the bed, her hair messy from her fight with the cocktail dress.

'Are you just going to sleep in that?' asks Dianna

'huh?' Lea asked slurring.

'Do you just want to sleep in that?'

'I just wanna sleep with you!' Lea laughs

Dianna doesnt know what to say so she just walks towards the bed pulls the covers over Lea and kisses her on the forehead.

'sweet dreams, ill see you when you rise' says Blonde taking one last adoring look at her roommate.

'Mmm goodnight..'

Dianna closes the door behind and leans against it, rethinking everything Lea had said, was she being crazy or Did Lea just ask Dianna to sleep with her.

Its nearly lunchtime when Dianna goes to check on Lea she brings with her a glass of chilled water and two Asprin.

When she walks into Leas room she finds her curled into her self, sound asleep.

'Lea im just going to leave this water and Asprin on your dresser? Ok.' Dianna whispers she turns and heads for the door.

'you're so good to me, thanks Di '

'Its no problem, really, do you need anything? You had a pretty rough night last night' replies the blonde.

'This will do for now ill be up soon just have to gather my strength' says Lea

'Well dont gather to much strength you might realise that my pancakes Dont taste very good' says Dianna smiling.

'You made breakfast?' Leas asks from under her covers

'Whenever your ready for it'

Dianna walks out of the room and closes the door, Lea lays sprawled out on her bed trying to remember last nights events, she couldnt remember details but she had a feeling she should apologise to Dianna.

A few minutes later Dianna heard the toilet flush which was a sign that Lea was up. So she started cooking pancakes.

Lea traipsed out wearing her underwear.

Dianna hoped she would put something on just so she wasnt caught staring.

'coffee?'

'yes, oh my god you're a life saver. I feel horrible'

Dianna pours Lea a cup of steaming hot coffee, she watched as Lea brings the cup to her mouth and trying to cool the coffee blows on the surface creating a perfect O with her mouth, Dianna quickly looked away.

'so Di what are your plans today?'

'I was thinking of heading out to dinner with Heather and Naya..' replies Dianna

'oh..ok ' says Lea slightly disappointed

'Do you wanna come?' asks Dianna, hoping she would be up for it.

'No, nah im fine ill just sit at home order in' Lea smiles a sweet smile as she cuts into her perfectly round, golden brown pancake.

'Are you sure? its not anything special, come, please i want someone there otherwise it will just be Naya and Heather eye sexing eachother all night'

'naw do you want someone to eyesex with?' Lea asked playfully

'yeah i wouldnt mind, please come it will be fun!' says Dianna pleadingly

'ok ok ill go, who else is going?'

'no one just us four.' says Dianna, Lea smiles sweetly at Dianna. both them unknowingly thinking the same thing. Double date.  
>Lea puts her hand over her mouth and mumbles 'these are really good, by the way.'<p>

The girls go about their day watching movies and enjoying each others company, its starts to get dark so Lea and Dianna start getting ready, Lea goes into have a shower, Dianna goes and picks out and outfit its slightly cold out so she just decides to wear jeans and nice top.

She needs to get into the bathroom to brush her teeth so she knocks on the door,

'Lea you decent? i need to brush my teeth'

'Come in!'

Dianna opens the door Lea is standing inside the shower drying her hair fully naked.

'Oh! Shit im so sorry i thought you said come in'

'I did, come in, i dont care Di ive been partially naked in front of a broadway audience, no sweat'

'Ohkay' Dianna steps in front of the mirror grabbing her brush applying tooth paste she starts brushing her teeth painfully fast just to get out of there. She looks up into the mirror to watch herself brush her teeth, she looks at whats behind her in her reflection its Lea standing there struggling to clip her bra on.

'Hey can you help me with this?' asks Lea still fiddling with her bra. Dianna turns eyes wide.

'Huh?' she squeaks

'Can you help me clip my bra on? Its new so haven't got the hang of it yet' explains Lea

'oh um.. yeah sure of course'

Dianna moves her hands towards Leas back, her hands fall on her bare back, sliding over she reaches for the bra clasps. she clips it together slowly but with ease. Lea turns around her eyes move up and down diannas figure until she finds her lips, parted and glossed. all Lea wanted was to lean in and kiss her.

Dianna noticed Lea staring at her lips she felt the tension but wasnt sure if she was reading to much into.

'its a nice bra..-' Dianna swallows nervously ' yeah one of your best..'

She didnt think it could get much better than the black one she was sporting last night. but she was wrong.

Diannas words break Lea from her thoughts.

'huh? Oh thanks! yeah victorias secret'

'oh fancy, ok well im going to finish getting ready' Dianna says with a smile

'well you look beautiful'

'as do you'

Dianna walks out of the bathroom, her heart beating so fast she can hear it in her ears she walks to the dinning room table and sits. The thoughts that were the reason she left the night before were resurfacing, her love for Lea had become intense she was finding hard to keep it hidden, what was the most confusing was that every now and then it would seem that Lea felt the same, but then Dianna would just put it down to herself imagining it for only seeing what she wanted to see.  
>Dinner tonight was going to be a blast, Dianna thought.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

At the resturaunt the girls all looked amazing Naya was wearing a blue strapless with her hair pulled up off her neck into a romantic bun. Heather was wearing a band tee and pair of tight black jeans shaping her perfectly, her long blonde hair flowing over her shoulders, Heather didnt have to try to look gorgeous. Naya could be seen staring at her all night. wondering how she got so lucky. Lea wore what seemed to be an outfit just to tease Dianna a short white dress that hugged all the right places with her hair pulled into a stylish ponytail.

They all ordered their meals and sat chatting about the up coming glee tour.

They would be going around america for press tours and concert performances.

The night wore on and they had finished their meals so they had their plates taken away and had drinks bought to the table.

A few voldka sunrises later and the girls were giggling and talking about who on glee would they date given the chance.

'As in character or actual person?' asked Dianna

'Character.' answers Heather

'I always thought that Will was my cup of tea' Naya chimes picking up her glass

'Oh my god! Naya!' Dianna bursts out laughing, Lea who had recently taken a sip of her drink and was finding it hard not to spray her drink everywhere.

'What? i always had a thing for my hot teachers.. Its an authority thing i find it sexy.'

'But.. i have no authority..' says Heather dissapointment in her voice

Naya leans in and whispers something in Heathers ear. Leaving Heather blushing..

'You like it when i'm like that?' says Heather bashful

'Ye-'

'Ok Dianna its your turn' says Lea cutting Naya off

'Hmm is it ok if its a girl?'

'we dont give a shit! hello..' says Naya waveing her finger between her and Heather

'Dont take this weird Lea but, Rachel i find her charming.'

'Really?' Lea exclaims

The two girls share a brief glance at eachother.

'Alright you two, lets keep the eyefucking to a minimum' Says Naya pointing her finger in their direction.

'Please! you two can talk!' retorts Lea going slightly red. realising she had slipped up and shown her feelings even if it was only for a second.

'Yeah you guys practically jump eachother everytime you see one another!' says Dianna

'shutup!' says Naya defensively

'yeah we do not! We're just happy to see one another' adds Heather, "plus we're out, we are allowed to'

On the way home the girls are still slightly tipsy, giggling and laughing at eachother,

They pay the cab driver and jump out of the car onto the side walk.

The night air had got to the pavement and made it slippery. Dianna nearly fell but Lea caught her their faces inches apart.

Dianna brushed Leas nose with her own with a smile on her face. Both smiling at each other Lea couldnt take it anymore she leaned in and kissed Dianna on the mouth atleast if Dianna pulled away she could apologise and blame it on the alcohol.

But she didnt Dianna kissed back even more passionately. Moving her hand to the back of Leas neck. Lea moved and hand down the small of Diannas back and moved their bodies closer. The two forgot they were in public until a million flashing camera lights made them seperate quickly nearly falling over again they ran up the steps to their building.

Dianna slammed the door to their aparment shut.

Lea fell to the floor and started laughing which eventually turned into silent sobs.

Dianna sat beside her and comforted her. Although she herself was going through a lot of anxiety. They had just been caught in the middle of the street making out.

In hours it would be all over the internet and there was nothing they could do about it.

'What are we going to do?' asked Lea

'I dont know what do you want to do?'

'I wanna laugh and cry at the same time, this is going be everywhere. What do we say to people, that is was just a friendly goodnight kiss? A drunk hook up..or..'

'Or what?'

'Do we say we wanted to and that it meant more..?'

'Well i doubt it looked like a friendly goodnight kiss, we could say it was a drunken hook up but..'

'i dont want to' says Lea, Dianna turned to look at the Brunette she wipes the tears from her cheek. Lea heaves a sigh and repeats 'i dont want to'

Dianna grabbed the back of Leas neck and pulled her in for a passionate kiss, Dianna threw her leg over Leas lap, straddling her. Leas back firm against the wall, they kissed for what seemed like hours.

Dianna stood up first taking Leas hand and dragging her into Diannas room, they reached the bed, with both their heads swirling they each layed there heads on a pillow and stared into each others eyes.

Slowly they fell asleep. Lea woke up wrapped in Dianna's arms.

She couldnt remember a time when she was more comfortable.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Lea woke, She heard Dianna make a sleepy moan, Lea didn't want to check if she was awake incase she disturbed her and it made her let go.

'Lea?'

'Yeah..' Lea replied the sound of sleep still on their voices

'You ok?' asked Dianna, in her heart she knew that Lea didnt regret anything, but in her head she thought it was all too good to be true.

'Never better' Lea says with a smile she pulls Dianna closer, reassuring her that it was definitely happening, and that Lea didnt regret anything.

'Do you want me to make you some breakfast?' Dianna asks

'Maybe later can we just lay here for a while?' says Lea, knowing they couldnt lay there forever. but oh how she wished they would.

'Yeah..' Dianna smiles to herself

There was a knock at the door that forced the girls to jump out of bed, Dianna grabs her robe and wraps it around herself, realising she was in the same clothes she wore last night.

Lea runs to her room before Dianna answers the door.

'Hey girl!'

'Oh hey Amber ..eh come in'

Lea rushes around her room trying to find something to wear, slung over her chair is a summer dress she throws it on over her head, runs a brush through her hair, while she listens to amber and Dianna's conversation.

'So just coming to see if you and Lea wanna come out to brunch i'm starving, Chris is waiting in the car'

'Oh um we might have to pass, we only just woke up sorry.'

'We..?' Ambers asks, slightly confused

'Yeah me and Lea we only just woke up so..'

'Where is Lea?' asks amber curiously.

'I dont know actually, Have you checked the internet today?' Dianna asks suddenly realising that Amber could full well know what was going on here and was just acting as if she knew nothing.

'No why?' Amber answers. Dianna inwardly sighs with relief.

'Oh no reason, Lea! Where are you?'

'Im in here!' Lea walks out looking fresh obviously trying to make it look like she hadnt just woken up.

'Lea looks ready.. Dianna come it will be nice, Lea do you wanna come out to brunch with me and Chris?'

'yeah sure, Di are you coming?'

'no i only just woke up might just eat breakfast here..'

'Why! just come out! Throw a dress on and put a brush through your hair and lets go!' says Lea overly enthused

'Ehh ok ill meet you in the car' Dianna answers

Dianna did exactly as Lea said and ran down to the car.

'Hey Chris!'

'Hey Dianna' replies Chris with a cheery smile.

'Alright Amber where are we going for breakfast?' says Chris turning to Amber

'I was thinking of hitting up that new cafe down the street. Everyone cool with that.'

'Yeah lets go im starving!'

The four of them step into a quant little cafe that Amber was talking about and order breakfast while they were waiting for their meals the conversation leads to the new season and what they think will happen.

'Who do you think they hook kurt up with?' Chris asks

'ive heard their getting some guy um -'

'i heard there thinking of names and its something like Blake or Blaine or something'

'do you think they will get Santana and Brittany together?' Amber says

'i hope so, they're so cute!' says Lea excitedly

Lea holds Dianna's thigh under the table.

The blondes breath hitches, she places her hand on Leas, Lea glides her thumb back and forth across the back of Diannas. Dianna looks across at Lea, shes not watching but instead is looking down at their hands she looks up at Dianna and smiles, Dianna cant remember ever seeing a smile so beautiful in all her life. she had never seen this smile on Lea, from then on Dianna would always keep that as her smile. The smile Lea kept only for her.

After they have all finished up their breakfast Amber drops them off at home, they invite them in but secretly hope they say no.

'Nah sorry guys we have plans, we'll see you soon!' Amber smiles sweetly.

'Seeya chris!'

'ill see you girls soon' Chris blows a kiss in the girls direction.

The girls wave them off and then head back inside.

'so Lea what do you want to do tonight?' The blonde asks moving closer.

Lea laughs.

'Well i dont know dianna, what do you suggest?'

'I have a few ideas'

The girls close the door behind them Dianna pushes the brunette against the door and kisses her, Lea runs her hands down Diannas back, moving her hands under and shirt, feeling her baby soft skin under her delicate fingers makes Lea moan with pleasure.

Dianna moves her hands down Leas side and under Leas skirt, gripping the tender skin just below her cheeks. Lea not being able to control her urges anymore gradually makes her way to her room taking Dianna with her.

In a hazy blur of heat and passion the girls finish, in what seems like seconds, but when they look at the clock its been hours Lea kissing Dianna tenderly all over.

The girls feeling blissfully content roll over still intertwined and look at eachother, Dianna is running her fingers up and down Leas exposed stomach.

'what are we doing?' Lea asks

'i thought it was kind of obvious' giggles Dianna 'well lea when two people love each other they..-'

'shut up..you know what i mean' Lea says giggling

Dianna's shifts to laying on her back, she looks at the ceiling, Lea rests her head on Diannas chest.

'Do you like me?' Dianna asks quietly

'For longer than id like to admit' replies Lea

'What are we going to tell people?'

'I dont think i can yet..' says Lea sadly

'A lot of people already know there is something going on, the pictures from last night would be everywhere by now..' says Dianna looking down at the top of Leas head her dark brown locks falling gently on the pillow beside them.

'I'm scared of what everyones going to say' says Lea

'you don't have to be afraid of what everyone will think, Lea Michele Sarfati doesnt give a shit what anyone thinks of her!'

'sometimes she does..especially when the thing they'll be judging means the world to her.'

'whats that?'

'This..I've quietly wanted this for so long Di, if they ruin this, i dont know...-'

'if i make a promise to you now that they cant ruin this for me, nothing they say or do will change my mind on how i feel about you. will you come out with me?' asks Dianna

'you cant promise something like that you dont know whats going to happen..what if we get fired?'

'um i hardly think Ryan will fire us for being gay.' says Dianna smiling.

'what about all our friends?' says Lea thousands of questions running through her mind.

'They'll have to deal, plus they are our friends they'll accept us no matter what, what do you say?'

'kind of sounds like fun' Lea sits up and smiles at Dianna.

'What?' asks the confused blonde

'Being out with you in public not having to hide myself…ill be free" Lea jumps off the bed '- do you want something eat? Its only 4:30'

Dianna laughs at Lea's quick jump from serious to excited.

'yeah i have worked up a bit of an appetite'

Lea pulls a robe on over her bare body and walks into the kitchen.

Dianna walks to the bathroom and splashes her face with cold water to freshen herself up, making sure to remind herself later to take a shower.

She wanders into the kitchen pulling on her own robe, she walks towards lea preparing their afternoon snack at the sink and wraps her arms around her waist and rests her head on Leas shoulder,

'Do you need any help?'

'No, you just go sit down ill bring it to you'

'I think ill go have a shower first, ive seemed to have worked up a sweat somehow'

'I wonder how that could have happened' laughs Lea

With her arms still wrapped around Leas waist Dianna kisses Lea on the cheek than turns and heads to the bathroom.

Dianna has been in the shower for a few minutes when there is a knock at the door to the bathroom.

'Come in!'

Lea walks in with a smile on her face,

'Hi' says Lea

'are you coming to join me?' says Dianna

'i was coming to tell you the food is ready...but that is a nearly irresistible offer'

Lea slips off her robe and opens the door to the shower, there lips meet in a rush and Lea doesnt fight the urge to run her hands all over Diannas dripping body,

Dianna pulls Lea under the water with her the kiss so passionate it makes their heads spin, Lea lightly teases Diannas tounge with her own, the blonde pushes Lea up against the wall of the shower, Lea jumps.

'what?' Dianna asks worriedly

'tiles are cold' says Lea laughing

'oh sorry hows this? Better?'

'much' dianna had pulled her close to her, the warm water now rushing over both their bodies and was softly kissing her.  
>'the foods going to get cold' says Lea<p>

'I dont care' says Dianna barely moving her lips away from Leas neck

'Strangley enough neither do i'

later that night after they had eaten and settled down to watch a movie, Dianna had a thought 'should we check E! News?'

'I doubt there is much on there about us we arent even famous' says Lea

'But paparazzi dont just take photos and keep them for their personal collection..' Dianna say pointedly

'the ones taken the other night they might ,besides we havent heard from our agents so it must be pretty calm'

'true. ok lets watch a movie than shall we?'

'what are you in the mood for?'

'umm rom/com?'

Half way through the movie Lea falls asleep on Diannas shoulder, once the movie is finished Dianna starts feeling tired she slowly slides Lea off her and lays her flat on the couch, fetching blankets and pillows for her. When she looked comfortable Dianna made her way to her own room and turned on her phone. walking into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth she hears her phone buzzing, retrieving it then continuing into the bathroom [60 missed calls]

'oh my god!'

soon realising there was one from each member of the cast and the rest was from either her or Leas agent.

'shit..'

Dianna instantly calls Naya. She answers after only a few rings

'Dianna! i swear your publicist hasnt stop calling me. where have you been? '

'What has he been saying?' asks Dianna impatiently

'um Di i think you know, you and Lea are fucking everywhere!'

'How bad is it?' asks Dianna

'Worse than me and Heather' Naya says matter of factly

'fuck. Ok thanks Naya i better go call him'

'Goodluck'

Dianna quickly dials her publicists number, he answers instantly. she didnt really catch the first few words.

'what are you saying Tim?'

'do you know what you have both done to your careers?' he shouts

'why are you making such a big deal out of this?' says Dianna

'you and Lea are coming to a meeting tomorrow with me and Leas manager"

'Why should i?' says Dianna

'you'll be there Dianna! my office tomorrow bring your friend.'

'Tim id like to remind you, that you work for me. Ok not the other way around.'

'Dont give me that shit Dianna ok you would be screwed without me!' says Tim shouting again, so loud Dianna pulled the receiver away from her ear.

'i understand you're frustrated because i havent called you back, but you need to check yourself'

'...ok Dianna can you please bring Lea in tomorrow so we can talk' Tim says his voice laced with sarcasm, waiting for Dianna to argue so he could yell at her again, she didnt instead she agreed she would be there in the morning and hung up.

Dianna layed awake for hours she had been laying there thinking about what was going to happen, the one person she wanted to tell, her best friend, was the one person she didnt want to worry. Lea. she heard the door click open. Then she felt Leas warm arm fall over waist.

'Dianna?'

'yep.'

'you awake?' asks Lea

'yeah' Lea could feel Dianna heart thumping in her chest.

'whats wrong?'

'nothing...'

'di...'

'i spoke to my publicist..'

Despite already knowing what it was about Lea went tense with worry, she now understood why Dianna's heart was beating so fast.

'what did he say?'

'we have a meeting tomorrow'.


	4. Chapter 4

There were photographers that had been camped outside their house the whole morning. When Dianna and Lea emerged the flashes were blinding, it didnt matter where they turned they couldn't seem to get out of the swarm of photographers.  
>Lea and Dianna had never seen that many paparazzi before, apart from at press conferences and award shows. When they had finally made it to the car the girls couldn't do anything but laugh, although feeling slightly lightheaded, they couldn't believe that they had been cause of all that.<p>

The girls arrived at Leas manger Bretts office, Dianna slipped her hand into Leas, knowing it would only add fuel to an already out of control fire..but that was just it, there wasnt anything Lea or Dianna could do, they may aswell enjoy being able to hold hands and love eachother in public. Lea tightened her grip on Diannas hand as they got closer to Bretts office they were greeted at the door by Tim.

'Hello girls just this way' they both walked in and sat down in chairs opposite their individual managers.

'Alright girls you both know why your here'

'Actually no you failed to say why we were coming in' replies Dianna

'Oh dont give me that shit Dianna you know very well why we are here.'

'Just get on with it boys.' says Lea calmly and hint of boredom evident in her voice.

'Where did this come from!' Bellows Diannas Manager Tim

'What?..be more specific, the paper on the table, the phone in my hand' says Dianna

'You two, you're both not even gay!' Leas manager Chimes in.

'I dont believe i've ever told you otherwise.' Dianna carries the conversation

'Just cut the crap girls what is this a publicity stunt that we never discussed?'

'This is so stupid! If i had kissed a male co-star outside my apartment, we wouldnt even be sitting here. So what makes you think this is a stunt? What because Lea's a girl? do you think I want to expand my fanbase or something?'

'It would make sense'

'This is fucked-' Lea interjects

'Girls believe me we don't at all mind whats going on here, you can continue this behind closed doors..-'

'Sleeze..' Lea mutters quietly

Tim continues ignoring Leas comment and continues.

'but we just think that maybe you could be seen out with someone else'

'what do you mean seen out with someone else? someone else.. male?' asks Lea

Dianna felt her stomach drop ofcourse she thought they wanted them to act straight

'this is so ridiculous, so you want me and Dianna to closet our relationship to make everybody else feel better?' Says Lea

'not closet..well yes actually, if that means not being seen out together' says Tim simply

'thats going be a bit hard considering we work together and live together'

'unless its for work we would like it if you kept this relationship hidden'

'thats never going to happen' say Dianna

'it will if you want to have a career, this town forgets about people like you two. Girls trying to make a big show of themselves. For a week the media explodes and then it dies down, and eventually all the jobs run dry for you and all your left with is two people who used to be in love, angry at eachother for ruining one anothers careers' says Tim, trying to bring his point home.

Lea grabs her bag from under her chair and heads towards the door

'where do you think your going?"

"im Leaving'

'This meeting isnt over we still have to discuss what your both going to say about this little experiment'

Lea had stopped to listen to what he was saying, an angry fire dancing in her eyes

'experiment? You dont even know me! you know nothing of what i feel or think, im not going to sit here and listen to you judge and criticise one of the most important things in my life. You act as though your doing it for us, your doing it for yourself! so that you wont be out of a job. So im going to go before you piss me off so much you are out of one. so goodbye.'

One of the men yells over his shoulder

'And dont forget you have a press conference on tuesday!'

'yeah whatever!' Dianna was right behind Lea. A proud smile planted on her face the drive home is quiet, Lea feels a single tear escape and roll down her cheek, as if Dianna had heard the tear splash on her lap she looks over at her and puts a resting a reasuring hand on her thigh, Lea picks up Diannas hand entwines their fingers and takes a deep breath.

'its never going to be easy is it?' says Lea her voice shaking

Dianna didnt answer, she didnt know what to say

The next few months the rumours get more and more insane.

According to the media Lea and Dianna had broken up five times, Dianna had cheated on Lea with Naya Rivera, and the most recent was that their mothers hated eachother and refused to sit together at their non existant wedding.

Dianna comes in after a long day of meetings, Lea standing in the kitchen cooking dinner. Dianna clears her throat to get Lea attention. But she still doesnt turn around.

'babe?' Dianna walks up to Lea and turns her around, she'd been crying

'I talked to brett today, i didn't get the part.' says Lea letting herself cry

'Oh Lea its ok, Dont worry their will be more jobs' Dianna pulls her in for a hug, Lea doesnt let her.

'Thats just it, he said everything hes put me up for they've turned down'

'Why?' asks Dianna confused

'He says it because im gay' Dianna rolls her eyes but lets Lea continue '-and that the only films ill be starring in anytime soon will be something straight out of a mans fantasyland.'

'what the fuck.'

'have you read the latest rumour?'

'oh the one about me and you getting married? Haha yeah i was reading about that today' says Dianna taking it lightly

'Dianna! What are we going to do?'

"What do you mean?'

'How are we going to put a stop to these rumours Tim said they would die down after a week or two its been months!'

'Dont worry about them Lea they're harmless'

'Not when a fashion magazine says with all the weight ive put on, its obvious im trying to fit into the community of bull dykes, I mean first thats just stereotypical!"

'Lea you're as beautiful as the day i met you, and even if you ever put on weight which you havent.' Dianna made the latter very clear 'i would love you exactly the same'

'Really?'

'Positive.'

'Even if i couldnt walk anymore?' Lea asks trying to hold back laughter.

'There'd just be more of you to love, and besides we'd get one of those electric carts you can ride on the footpath. I could sit on your lap and get fat too'

Dianna pulls Lea into a hug, pushing the dinner off the stove, another feeling replacing hunger.

She grabs Lea by the waist and pushes her onto the bench Lea wraps her legs around Dianna's hips and kisses her softly, gently parting her lips. Lea invites Dianna's tongue into her mouth, the blondes hands run along the back of Leas shirt pulling upwards. the brunette lifts her arms slowly to help in the removal of her shirt, seconds from the shirt Leaving her body, the girls mouths find each other almost magnetically, kissing passionately making up for the split second they were separated. It was times like these that Dianna wondered how she had lived without the gorgeous women that was now kissing her neck making her weak at the knees. Dianna picked her up so Lea tightened her grip with her legs around Dianna's waist and was carried away to their bedroom. Dianna Leans down as close to the bed as she can, so she doesn't drop her. Lea lays on the bed, hair splayed perfectly, eyes shut in pleasure as Dianna pulls off her jeans and underwear. Lea sits up on her elbows to see the blonde pull her jeans off the end of her feet, she watches as the blonde lowers herself between Leas thighs, Lea collapses back on the bed in ecstasy when she feels Dianna's tongue run circles around her, delving her tongue in and out, around and around, the slightest touch sends tingles down her spine. Moans of pleasure escape her mouth until Lea cant stand it anymore, her back arches as she is overcome with exultation. Falling back on the bed, bliss coursing through her body, chest rising and falling as Dianna, kisses her skin softly until she reaches her mouth..Dianna holds onto Lea wrapping her arms around her tiny frame.

'i love you.' Lea says breathing in out deeply

'i love you too.' Dianna smiles at Lea

'your turn' says Lea


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, light shines through a gap in the curtain. Dianna squints her vision blurred from sleep. Rolling over to place her arm on Lea, but the bed on her side is cold, instead she hears the ruffle of paper under her finger tips she picks up the note and immediately recognises Leas swirly handwriting.

_'Gone out with cory be back soon xx'_

Cory? when did she even talk to him?

Dianna slipped out of bed and into the shower feeling the warm water wash over her was calming, she hadnt thought about any of what Lea had said last night until now..why is she getting so worked up about it..why isnt she happy?

Dianna wanders around the house, until she finally works up the courage to call the one person who will understand.

'Hey Heather'

'Hold on D' Dianna hears the ruffle of the phone speaker and a whipsered but stil audible voice in the background 'nay hop off for a sec. its Dianna. yeah just for a minute..hey D! whats up'

'Am i interupting something? Cause i can call back later, actually im feeling a bit stupid calling anyway, ill go..ill let you go'

'Dianna, quit acting weird. fire away what do you wanna know?'

'Its about Lea'

'Ok, but i think you might be more of an expert in that department D.'

Dianna feels silly for asking but can't help herself she needed advice.

"…. When you and Naya came out..I know what it was like from the outside, but how did you guys deal with it like as couple?'

'Oh.. um well i think we both took a hit, i tried to be strong for both of us. Naya freaked out for a few months. One day she just didnt anymore, ive asked her hundreds of times what happened but she wont say, she just tells me not to get to Wanky. Why are you and Lea having a bit of trouble?'

'I think Leas having second thoughts'

'Shit.'

'I just..i love her so much, i wished for it for so long. Now i have it i don't know if i can give it up.'

'talk to her, it can't hurt to just talk to her.'

'it will hurt if she breaks up with me.'

'Lea wont break up with you D..just talk to her, call me. Let me know how it goes'

'Thanks Heather, oh and tell Naya i said hey'

'will do, seeya!'

Dianna hears the door click open Lea runs in 'cant talk gotta pee!'

Dianna puts the kettle on and makes Lea a cup of lemon tea.

Lea walks out sighing with exaggerated relief 'much better. Did you just get up?'

'um no, maybe an hour ago?'

'sorry i wasn't there when you woke up, i had a breakfast date with cory' Lea smiles and reaches up to peck Dianna on her forehead, she sips on her tea.

'did you guys have fun?'

'um yeah it was ok, just talked. Hes been in doing rehearsals for the tour, im guessing they want him ahead, so hes on par with the rest of us, after all it takes him weeks to Learn what we Learn in a day so..'

"Yeah, so what do you wanna do today?'

'Thinking stay in watch some movies.'

'We could go out to a movie?'

'Why not just stay in?' Dianna chest falls at these words. Disappointed.

'I wanna go see a movie at the cinemas i havent been in ages'.

'We went few weeks ago' says Lea turning away.

'That was at Nayas house, on her projection screen bit different.'

'Why do we always have to go out, and see people' Leas turns back around to see Dianna's face, Lea could see questions wanting answers turning over in her eyes.

'Do you not want to be seen with me?'

'Don't be silly, i just..i went out before i kinda just wanted to lounge around'

'Ok..whatever' Dianna dropped it she didnt want to fight with Lea, they never had and she couldnt bring herself to cause Lea anymore distress.

once the movie was finished Dianna said she was going to lay down, she went to bed, propping herself up with pillows she slipped her laptop onto her stomach and got on her new favourite website, tumblr.

Hopping on her blog she scrolled through the thousand notes, she had just as many messages, she decided to read some.

_'what is going on with Lea and cory?'_

_'hope your ok! My heart goes out to you cant believe Lea would do that to you :('_

_'so glad Lea is with cory now you two were an abomination!'_

_'its ok i ship you and Naya anyways! Xx'_

_'love you Dianna, seen the photos. So sorry!'_

_'monchele! Forever!'_

With each message she read her heart raced faster, what are these people talking about?

Dianna opens a new tab and types 'cory monteith and Lea michele'

the search engine appears _'new results for cory monteith and Lea michele'_

she clicks the first website. The headline.

_'Lea does the dirty on Dianna'_

Hundreds of pictures light up the screen, them sitting at breakfast laughing, Lea and cory holding hands, cory giving Lea a piggyback ride, Lea hugging his waist.

just then Lea walks in the room. sliding onto the bed next to Dianna.

'what you looking at?' Leas feels the colour drain from her face as she sees what Dianna is looking up.

'its not what it looks like.'

'what does it look like?'

'You know cory would never do-' Lea tries to explain but Dianna cuts her off.

'Oh but you would?'

'You know thats not what i meant' they sit in silence for a moment when Dianna finally decides on the question.

'Why didnt you want to go to the movies with me?' Dianna didn't know where it had come from but she felt this was the question that give her the answers.

'What?'

'Was it so your big day of playing straight wouldn't go to waste? Dianna knew she was being childish but she couldn't help it.

'Thats not true.'

'Really convincing Lea'

'Are you mad at me?'

'No.' in truth she wasn't, she wasnt mad at Lea, she was mad at everybody, the world, people, and the way they were making Lea feel, why shouldnt someone as kind hearted, beautiful and perfect as Lea be able to love somebody and not be judged?

'yes you are! Why?' Lea had sat up by this stage, confusion and anger consuming her.

'because Lea! Im hurting, do you know what it feels like to have your girlfriend ashamed of you?...'Dianna waited for a response but Lea couldnt say anything of course she didnt know Dianna was the perfect girlfriend, never pushed, always beautiful in everyway, all these thoughts running through her mind Lea was speechless, what was she doing she thought. You love her. Say something! Dianna continued when Lea didnt speak

'-no you dont, because i would shout it from a mountain, tell everybody who would listen because i love you like nobody else matters, its just you. And it seems like ..you dont feel the same' Lea moved forward wanting to hold Dianna. she was so vulnerable, in the past if she felt this way Dianna was her rock, but now..she didnt deserve her Lea thought, Dianna had stood up at Leas movement not wanting her to touch her she knew if Lea touched her she would forget all about it.

'i do want you.' Lea finally said internally punishing herself, i want you, what was that?

'im gonna go.'

'wait. What? Go where?'

'to my mums i think i should stay with her for a while, maybe give you some time.'

'Dianna this is so stupid you know how i feel about you'

'Its not stupid Lea, its been going on for a while. We were so happy and as soon as you started losing followers on twitter and not getting jobs, it all changed its like you noticed people cared. you just arent who you used to be. im giving you a choice you can bow out now everybody will think its a phase you can get a beard, have babies be in good movies and shows, and live a cute little depressing life. Or you can be with me and live happily ever after..call me when you've decided if im worth it.' Dianna Leans in and gives her a small peck on the lips, wanting to pull tight and never let go, but knew she wouldnt Leave. Dianna didnt want Lea to live a life she wasnt comfortable with. She was willing to let her go, as long as she was happy.

Even if she wasn't being true to herself.

Dianna walks out the door closing it and, falling back against it. The hard surface the only thing keeping her standing.

Inside Lea has already found the floor, not needing to stay strong anymore she had let herself cry, she cried for how she was hurting Dianna, she cried for how alone she felt, and for how stupid she was being. She loved Dianna why was she so fucking afraid!

Dianna ran to her car throwing the door open, the smell of Leas perfume still lingered in her car..she breathed in, taking in the smell of the girl she was walking away from, she couldnt believe she was doing this and she was growing less and less sure of her decision as time went on, so she put her car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot.


	6. Chapter 6

**Im firstly going to apologise for how ridiculously long this has taken me. i know there is no excuse, although i have a few i won't bore you with them, enjoy this new chapter, well i hope you do. again SORRRRY!**

* * *

><p>Dianna made it five minutes down the road before she pulls over and lets her self sob into back of her fist as they grip the steering wheel.<p>

She looks up at the ceiling tears streaming down her face "you're such an idiot" she says through sobs.

_turn around, go home._

_"_No, give her space." Dianna wipes her tears and as though the steering wheel weighs a ton, pulls into traffic.

Dianna makes it to her mums house without pulling over again as soon as she arrives she falls into her mothers arms as she comes walking down the driveway.

"oh sweetie, whats happened?"

"i.. i.. " Dianna couldn't even let herself say the words.

"ok, ok. we can talk later, come in out of the cold" Mary thought it best to get her inside, whatever this was it was big. it had been a long time since she had seen Di this upset.. if ever.

* * *

><p>Lea Falls against the door the love her life had just left out of.<p>

_What have i done?_

"fuck." Lea puts her head in her hands, and cries.

Lea keeps on crying, its been whats seems like 5 hours and she lays in the same spot at the door.

Her head is pounding and there is a puddle under her face. If she wasn't so upset it would be something to laugh at, the classic tear puddle.

Lea finally finds the strength and pulls herself up onto her feet, she walks to her bedroom and falls onto the bed, she rolls over onto Diannas side and instantly regrets it. Diannas scent fills her nose. It consumes her, She closes her eyes and feels Diannas arms wrapped around her while they lay in bed, their noses are touching and she can see the most beautiful shade of brown in her eyes. fast forward and Diannas arms around her waste while she cooks dinner. _Home, I'm home. _

Lea lays like this for what seems like days, in the memories of the life she's thrown away.

* * *

><p>"Dianna, honey? can i come in?" her mum hears no response like usual, Mary walks in to find her daughter laying on her back staring at the ceiling. Daughter, yeah.. it has the face and body of her daughter. But nothing else; <em>not her eyes, or her smile, certainly not her appetite. <em>Mary looks around to see full plates of food sitting on and around her bedside table.

"hi mum."

"hi sweetie.. i thin-"

"i know i do mum, but i.. can't." Dianna cuts her mum off knowing already what she was going to say, its the same thing she says everyday. Diannas mum visits her room three times a day to ask if she wants food, somedays four to ask if she wanted to come shopping.

"you need to eat sweetie, get some sun. its been days"

"how many?"

"sorry?"

"how many days has it been?" Dianna asks hesitantly scared of the answer.

"its been two weeks."_ two weeks and Lea hasn't called. two weeks. its over._

_"_although this thought should cripple Dianna, she sits up in bed. it was like pulling off a bandaid. she suddenly felt very hungry.

"she has arisen. come out Di, have breakfast with me. we can eat outside" Mary continues before the emotional door closes and Dianna shuts her out again "maybe do some gardening? it might make you feel better, and I'm sorry to say this but you stink, so have a shower." she says her last words with a kind smile, pats her daughters leg. Picks up the breakfast she had bought in and walks out the door.

Dianna stands up and walks over to her dresser, the night of her arrival her mum had set up her room. Putting the few clothes she had grabbed from her and Leas apartment into drawers, making her bed, setting a towel on the back of the door. For a few days Dianna moved about the house, eating with her mum, helping with the cleaning and watching tv, but Television was a mistake.

While watching tv one morning E! news splashes across the screen Ryan Secrest's voice booms out of the speakers "Dianna Agron and Lea Michele over before they even began" and before Dianna can reach for the remote, She sees the photo of her and Lea arm in arm ripped in two._"_the two glee stars haven't been seen together in two weeks. We give you the insider scoop on what really happened" says Giuliana Rancic her voice feigning sadness as. Dianna continues to scramble for the remote _Where the fuck is it _Dianna gives up and turns the tv off at the switch, and continues walking to her room; and there she stayed until now.

she shakes off the memory of the photo being ripped in two, and starts to collect the clothes she will wear.


	7. Chapter 7

*Knock* *Knock*

Lea lays face down in her pillow _Go away. _

*Knock* * Knock*

A voice speaks from behind the door

"Lea i know you're in there! open up, before i have to bust down the door."

"Go away Naya!"

"Well at least i know you're alive, ill tell the EMTs to turn around."

"Arrrrrghhh Why.." Lea stumbles out of bed and continues stumbling to the door, Lea can't even remember when she was last out here.

She turns the handle on the door and opens it.

"You look like shit"_ Naya always so telling_.

"Thank you, I've been working on that"

"What are you trying to make me feel sorry for you, get your ass in the shower! we're going out"

"I can't… i have things t-"

"You have things to do? i didn't know laying in your own sweat and tears was doing something."

"Well i think it is. If you're just here to pick on me, you can.. just go"

"Cruel to be kind my friend, get in the shower."

"I'm fine, i had one the other..-" Lea pauses to think.

"Other week? Perhaps, come on Lea i know you feel like you have completely screwed everything up but theres still a chance, and don't you want to be out of bed and showered if that chance comes around?

Lea feels a light lift in her chest and gains the courage to speak her name "what chance? have you spoken to Dianna"

"No..No one has, she's MIA; Has been for weeks."

"So who sent you?"

"Who sent me? this isn't a spy movie Lea."Lea looks at Naya Knowingly as She walks around the apartment. Naya puts down the candle she was holding and shrugs.

"Fine Heather made me, but i didn't have to say yes."

"Why didn't Heather just come?

"She's… Busy."

"Ok.." Lea knew where she was or rather who she was with. Lea wished more than anything to be in Heathers shoes right now.

"Alright pity party over wipe that stray tear, and get in the shower"

Lea hated that she had noticed so looked to the shower as an escape rather than the enemy.

* * *

><p>"Hi Miss Agron"<p>

"Oh god Heather you'll make me feel old, call me Mary" Mary giggles

"Sorry, Mary. um can i see Dianna?"

"You know she would normally love to see you, but she's not really in great shape at the moment"

"i know, i just thought..-"

"you know what it might do her some good,you come in; make yourself at home ill just go get her."

Heather leans her self on the back of the lounge and waits.

Moments later Dianna walks out, she looks tidy. Clean. Heather had prepared herself for a lot worse. But there was something off. Maybe in her eyes.

"Hey, Dianna"

"hey.." Mary senses its time for her to go

"ill get the tea shall i?" Mary makes a speedy exit to the kitchen.

"So.." Heather begins. "Where have you been?"

"Here, why?"

"I dunno, we're all looking for you?" says Heather "I've called you like ten times" Dianna sits down on the lounge and opens the paper she had left sitting on the coffee table, all over the page were red circles.

"You looking for a job?" Dianna finds her self giggling

"No apartments.." Dianna catches the pity in Heathers eyes "depressing i know, but its more depressing living with my mum again. I mean i love her, but i need my own place."

"So you haven't heard from Lea?"

Dianna feels like Heather just slapped her in the face. Why did she say her name?

"No. Im not going to be anytime soon so i may as well just accept that and move on."

"You can't just give up.."

"Why not?"

"I just think you should wait a little longer"

"Maybe i don't know it just..It feels like years"

"I bet it does, ok look how about you and me go get some coffee maybe even go check out some of these apartments? you can never really tell from the picture"

Apart from the having to leave the house part it sounded nice and normal. A nice normal day out maybe that was just what she needed.

"Ok, i guess"

"Oh really? woo! to be honest with you i didn't think you would, this was easier than i thought. I wonder how Naya is doing with- ohh kay lets go!"

"Doing with who?"

"Who? Who what?" Heather smiles and pulls at the collar of her t shirt. "come on get changed, lets hit it! so many apartments to see, so little time."

Dianna walks into her room pulls a White T shirt over her head slips some dark jeans on grabs her wallet, she goes to grab her phone but cant find it. Shit. _How is Lea meant to call if i don't even have my phone on me you idiot! _ Dianna start scrambling around her room, pulling the sheets back, looking under and on top of her bed. "where is it?"

"Wheres what honey?" Mary appears at her door.

"My.. Ah.. Phone, have you seen it" Dianna continues to search.

"its out on the kitchen counter charging i found it a while ago, thought if you were up you might want to be talking to people too."

"oh thank you so much mum!" She kisses her mums cheek as she rushes out her door.

Dianna runs to the kitchen, grabs her phone off charge and checks all her missed calls and messages as she walks to Heathers car.

21 missed calls and none from Lea, not even a message.

As she walks towards the car heather shouts "you sure you wanna do this"

Dianna thinks for moment "yeah,I'm sure" all Dianna can think about is that Lea hasn't once tried to contact her, never.

_Neither have you. _

_but it was up to her._

_you should never have left._

_but she needed space._

_space for what to move on? you're an idiot._

It was an Angel vs the Devil in Diannas head…and the Devil won. Dianna spent the entire car ride to the coffee shop silent, apart from a few "yeahs" and "i guess's" in response to Heathers Gentle probing questions.

Heather and Dianna sit outside Heather favourite cafe, Sharing a piece of apple pie.

"Pies nice" offers Heather, trying to start conversation.

"yeah"

"ok thats enough whats halted the conversation? you've given me a whole of two syllables the entire way here"

Dianna gives up, why can't she tell Heather hows she's feeling, Heather is one of her best friends.

"she hasn't called."

"who-"

"She hasn't called not once" Dianna sits forward in her chair "not once, she hasn't even sent me a message. If nothing we were friends. its like she doesn't care.

"so she hasn't picked up?"

"what?"

"when you called she didn't pick up? is that why you're so pissed?"

"called? i haven't called? i left it up to her, it was her choice to call. I said call when you make your decision."

"so she hasn't made her decision.." Says Heather smiling "thats not the end of the world"

"two weeks if she hasn't called by now, she's made her decision, and if she does call its not with good news."

"Everythings gonna work out. What you and Lea have.. its never heard of? i mean two best friends, who love each other. Two people who actually have the balls to tell each other how they feel. Lea is scared, She got rejected after showing her true self to millions of people. That shit hurts. Just give a little more time."

"i know, i know.. i just miss her is all." it felt good to finally say it, who was she kidding she wasn't mad at Lea, she never could be. Dianna wipes a tear from her cheek.


	8. Chapter 8

Naya looks Lea up and down approvingly "wow, sorry i didn't think this hottie was still under all of.. well, whatever you had going on before. Good choice in outfit i didn't tell you where we're going but you're gonna need those converse"

"err do i want to know?"

"probably not" says Naya with a devious smile "lets go already!"

* * *

><p>"no no no, a carnival really?" Lea steps out of the car staring up at the sign 'CARNIVAL'<p>

"you seem surprised?... Excellent." Says Naya tapping her fingers together imitating Mr Burns.

She grabs Lea's hand and drags her towards the gates.

"two tickets please"

The man in the ticket booth passes through the Tickets and lets them through the gates.

"I can't believe you brought me to a carnival.."

"why? Carnivals are the best! Ferris wheel?" Naya looks at Lea Expectantly, she takes a look around the park and replies.

"argh! fine! i may as well while I'm here"

They make their way towards the Ferris wheel and after standing in line for a minute or so she can here a manly voice saying "Because! You don't play with action figures, you're a girl. I'll buy you a doll."

"But i don't want a doll? they're boring" Comes a little voice belonging to a girl around the age of 11 or 12.

"you're getting a doll and i don't want to hear another word about it I'm not having my daughter grow up to be some kind of .. of .. abomination"

Lea can see the little girl turn away from her father as tears slowly roll down her cheeks, her heart drops as she watches. Naya leans in and says loud enough that the man probably heard "what a douche bag"

The little girl turns around at the sound of Nayas voice, her mouth drops open in shock.

"oh my god. Naya Rivera!?"

Naya smiles.

"oh my god! Lea too! This is not happening"

Lea tries with all her might to give the little girl a genuine smile but can only manage small smile and nod of her head.

The girls works her way towards them before her father can catch her.

"I am your biggest fan!"

"You watch Glee?"

"I love Glee! My dad hates it, but i don't care what he thinks. When i grow up i wanna be just like you!"

"You wanna be an actress?" Asks Naya smiling kindly.

"No i wanna be a doctor, and then I'm going to marry my friend Aubrey."

"A Doctor huh? Rock on little kid!" Says Naya laughing.

"What did you just say!?" The Girls father had been standing behind her at her last words, His mouth hanging open.

"Dad! Look its Naya and Lea the girls from Glee!"

"I know who they are, disgusting." Naya looked at Lea and rolled her eyes.

"Dad. You're embarrassing me."

"we're going."

The girl begins to walk away with her father but as soon as he looks away she runs back.

she hugs their legs and then pulls Lea down to her level.

"Please marry Dianna she's the best! she makes you smile. You don't smile anymore."

Lea doesn't know how to reply but before she gets the chance, the fathers comes and grabs the daughters hand and pulls her away muttering.

Those are the people i lost Dianna over?

Lea repeats this thought to Naya.

Naya shrugs and smiles. "i guess so. But you know you haven't lost her."

"Yes i have"

"Where is she staying?"

"At her mums?"

"There you go, you haven't lost her. You know where she is" Naya says this stifling a laugh.

"Not in the literal sense smart arse"

"oh with the insults! I've missed this!"

"but seriously, masses of arseholes like that is what I'm afraid of?"

"it would seem it."

"Im an idiot."

"you're just scared." Naya turns to Lea a hesitant look on her face, like she is struggling with the choice to say something or not, she turns away and Lea decides not to push it.

The girls move forward in the line and jump up onto the platform as the Carny ushers them into their carriage.

"…and away you go" says the carny as he pushes on the safety bar to double check its closed.

Lea thinks more about what the little girl, the life she was in for the bullying, harassment, she was definitely not going to be accepted by her father or anyone like him.

Lea never had to deal with any of that before, She never 'came out' and had to deal with the repercussions. Sure she had crushes on girls in high school, but never anything to tell anyone about. Nothing like Dianna. She loved her, from their first meeting. Lea told herself it was just a crush, but she was lying to herself. Dianna was perfect in every way. She made Lea feel at home, She made Lea laugh, and smile. Lea thoughts go back to what the girl had said. " You don't smile anymore" and she was right she hadn't smiled in weeks, she wasn't even sure if she could anymore. What had happened? Dianna made Lea want to tell everybody about their love so what had happened? People? Just people.

People had made Lea scared to love, and in that moment Lea decided that wasn't right.

When they are stopped high in the sky Naya looked at Lea again with the same hesitant look as before, but turns away again, Lea asks if everything is alright, and after a moment or two Naya finally speaks.

"I felt like you once."

"what?"

"What you're going through. I was going to give up everything"

"With Heather?"

"Yeah, it was just after we came out. Everything was on us, you turned on the TV it was about us. The news, tabloids, newspapers, twitter, Facebook everywhere i looked people hated me for just being in love. People all over the world had hate in their hearts because i loved? sure people showed their support but i still just couldn't get over that idea.. How my love? just mine and Heathers brought this massive worldwide hate."

"i didn't even know this happened..what changed? How did you get over it?" Lea talks slowlys she doesn't know what to do with this Naya. She was so sullen, almost fragile.

"No one knows this, not even Heather.. and the only reason I'm telling you is because the way you are makes me think you're headed in the same direction."

Naya takes a deep breath, as if telling someone this was making her feel sick. A second passes and she continues.

"One night, i was finishing up a scene with everyone, Heather had gone home early to change, because she had to be back in the morning. Chris pulled me aside, telling me not to worry about what that guy had said. I told him i didn't know what he was talking about, but i did. Everyone did. His name was Abel and he had commented more than a few times on a photos Heather had posted. Saying something about how some good sex with him would solve all our problems and why not come over for an hour or two. Then it just kept getting more and more violent saying he knew where we lived and that he was coming to give it to us even if we didn't want it. After Chris spoke to me i said goodnight to everyone, and texted Heather i loved her. -"

Lea felt like she was going to throw up.

"i walked up the stairs to the roof… It was like i was on autopilot, at that point in my existence what i was doing seemed like the most rational, appropriate thing i had ever done. I got all the way up to roof and i stood on the edge, I shifted my weight and I looked down just for a second and there in the parking lot... was Heathers car. She had always been my guardian angel, And here she was again saving me. I had been blank for weeks, no emotion, nothing. But when i saw her blonde hair dancing behind her as she walked into the studio. Everything came rushing back, my feelings were infinite. It felt like my heart exploded, There was no way i could stop loving Heather, no way i could leave her.. it didn't matter what people said, that was their problem. I just wanted to go and hold her."

They sat in silence before Lea spoke.

"Naya, i don't.. know what to say"

"Don't be like me, i almost lost everything. Don't be stupid. You love her, i can see it. i don't want it to take something like that to make you see it."

Lea was in shock, Naya was right Lea had thought about how easy it would be, just to end it all.

Lea could just go see her, but what if Lea went and she turned her away, she didn't know if she could live with that.

"I know what you're thinking, you think, what if she doesn't take you back?"

"Get out of my head women!" Naya laughs at this which lightens the mood.

"She might not take you back, she has that right. But Lea…" Naya grabs Leas shoulders and looks into her eyes "-what if she does?"

* * *

><p>Lea has been to Diannas mums house, a few times. She knew her mum they got on quite well actually. But the way Mary was looking at Lea right now it was like Lea had been put in a brown paper bag and set on fire on her door step.<p>

"Hi Mary, is Dianna here?"

"She's not here."

"Oh ok, do you know when she might be back?"

"she's gone to look at apartments with Heather. She might be a while." Apartments already?

"would it be ok if i wait?"

"No."

Lea knew why Mary hated her, But no one could hate Lea as much as she hated herself so Mary may as well save it.

"ok.. can you let her know i came?"

"yeah fine. is that all?"

"i guess so"

"goodbye Lea"

"good-" Mary closes the door before Lea even finishes her sentence.

* * *

><p>I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter :) Its amazing to have this support. Even After it took me so long to update!<br>I'm sorry its taking them so long to get their shit together. They're getting there, They are working everything out in my head it just takes a bit to get it down on the page.


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